My phone rings and when I answer it, I don’t say hello. I can see who is calling, so I simply say, “did you get it?”
She giddily responds with, “I got it. I fucking got it!”.
“I fucking got it.” Hell yes, she did.
The exhilaration in her voice makes my heart want to explode. She sounds like she’s won the lottery. And in some way, she has – the offer on her dream house has been officially accepted. After lots of stress, uncertainty, mountains of paperwork, and commitment. It’s hers.
Later that same weekend, I got an email entitled “good news” from another client (although more measured in personality and sensibility… i.e. no F bombs!) who was writing to tell me he’d gotten a formal job offer. This was after weeks of herculean work on his part. The process included TEN different interviews! TEN!! It’s a big job, and his dream job, so he threw everything at it.
As a coach, bearing witness to clients going after their dreams – AND GETTING THEM is awe-inspiring.
I sometimes get asked, “why do people hire a life coach? How do you help?”
The fun answer is: I help people get that dream job. Or that dream house. I help people make whatever positive change they want to make.
“But how do you do it, exactly?” People want to know. Usually this comes up when someone wants to figure out the value of hiring a coach. How much is her time worth? How much should I invest in her help?
It’s so simple that I can totally understand the people who scoff at spending money on a coach. Since it’s so simple, I should be able to do it on my own. To that statement, I ask – why haven’t you then? Go on, then. Go get it!
What a coach can do, and what I always endeavor to do for my clients is as follows: tune into the whisper of a dream. A whisper of who they are. (I know that sounds corny, indulge me for a moment!) There’s a wise knowing certainty in all of us. But it’s often drowned out by terrifying voices of self-loathing or self-sabotage. Or perhaps it’s actually outside of us – other people impressing their dissenting opinions upon us. That excess noise can be confusing and distracting. It’s mostly a lot of static. I give clients the space to feel into that dream, that new potential. I provide the opportunity for a client to recognize within themselves, that IT really is possible. Whatever IT is. Then I give them permission to go for it. This is when I see that whisper turn into a roar. It’s so powerful and only needs the tiniest bit of direction to be off and running. So, at this point, we create a plan of concrete actionable steps to get them there. But you, the client, do the work. Hell yes, you do the work.
Because knowing you’ve done everything you could do (like in sports, “leaving it all on the field” so to speak) allows you to be more at peace with WHATEVER the outcome. The process, the experience, the TRYING, the being in one’s integrity throughout. Knowing you LITERALLY did everything you could do.
That is the ultimate win.
That said, all that hard work also makes getting what you wanted, all the sweeter.
Of course, I’ve got plenty of Jedi mind tricks, tools, exercises and homework for each of my clients, but the truth of the matter is – when we’re struggling or need to make change that’s difficult, we need people and we need feedback and we need reflection and we need cheerleaders. We need support and empathy. And maybe the biggest thing I can offer is faith; a belief in that person’s capabilities to go out and make big things happen.
What’s your dream worth?
That new house? That new job? The gleeful feeling of success over adversity?
It’s fucking priceless.